Let Go of Type Prejudice

We've all had bad experience with some of the types. We've either been in unhappy personal or work relationships or certain types are a challenge because they are so opposite of our own type. For instance a 9 peacemaker might be threatened by a 8 who is direct. Then again, 9s can like things direct if the approach is somewhat peaceful, open or connecting. All types are equally deficient and wonderful. The ego is demanding and limiting and anyone stuck in ego can be a challenge. Life certainly can challenge us at times. Limit your contact with someone's "type" if it's too much but don't assume it's the type only. It's more about maturity and experience than type that's likely upsetting you. Appreciate what each type offers even if some parts are difficult. Don't take for granted what each type offers that supports you. Attempt to develop each of the 9 types in yourself and the "difficulty" of each type will be easier. Compassion always helps a lot and much compassion is needed as each type struggles trying to make life fit its type. The best solution is letting go more and more of your ego and type and be more typeless and spiritually oriented. Practice each day to let go of the demand that you have to have all your type needs met. Incorporate each of the 9 parts of you and find ways to relate well to each type.

Understanding the Enneagram

The Enneagram is a description of 9 unique ways of seeing and experiencing life. Your "type" is the main filter through which you perceive inner and outer reality. The Enneagram helps you to understand personality differences - your and others, how to develop the best traits of each type in yourself, and how to relate well to each type (knowing their strengths and weaknesses). Each type is relatively predictable in their concerns, communication styles and behavior. People make sense when you know this information. We are all nine types are various times but one is the core driver and causes both a distortion of reality (missing the 360 degree view) as well as an amazing strength to focus strongly on one area of life.

Here's a brief summary of the types, parts of which each of us have. One type, called the core type, is more automatic to the way you are and have been throughout your life (requires no effort to be that) and dominant in one's basic motivation, thinking process, perspective, and filtering system. There are typical behaviors in each type but behavior is less representative of type than the reasons why someone is does what they do. The Types and their major avoidances and focus include:

Type 1 - The Perfectionist/Reformer - avoids mistakes, imperfection - "there's a right way"
Type 2 - The Overhelper/Cheerleader - avoids their own needs - "love me for my giving"
Type 3 - The Overachiever/Winner - avoids failure - "strives for success"
Type 4 - The Depth Seeker/Romantic - avoids everyday, humdrum life - "let's go deep"
Type 5 - The Knowledge Seeker/Observer - avoids expression of personal feelings - "be objective"
Type 6 - The Security Seeker/Detective - avoids the unknown - "let's question everything"
Type 7 - The Optimist/Fun Lover - avoids pain - "let's have a good time"
Type 8 - The Director/Powerhouse - avoids vulnerability - "I want to be in charge"
Type 9 - Peacemaker/Accommodator - avoids conflict - "peace at all costs"

There are many subtypes in the Enneagram. Each core type has a wing type, a mix of an adjacent number. A 9 with a dominant wingtype of 8 has a bit of assertion and self drive like an 8, therefore a 9/8 and a 9 with a dominant wingtype of 1 has a mix of perfectionism and inner values focus. Each type tends to move to take on the worse traits of another type, 9 goes to 6 when under strong stress and the best traits of another number (9 goes to 3) to balance and integrate themselves.

Each type also has a sequence of instinct traits - relationship subtype (focused more on intimacy, intensity, bonding, the mating instinct, sexuality), the social instinct (social image, position in a group, inclusion or exclusion, the herd instinct) and self preservation instinct (the core personal survival instinct, home, comfort, money, security, stability, normalcy).

The dominant subtype is the one that one's ego and thinking process is most focused on and obsessed with, the middle one is the one instinct area that is easiest and the last one is the instinct that tends to be neglected. There are 6 subtype order possibilities and a unique description of that order within each type. As you can see, the subcategories are endless, which mirrors the uniqueness of each personality!

Herb Pearce has been teaching the Enneagram (and Myers-Briggs) in public workshops and for organizations and companies for 18 years, having taught close to 2000 workshops and trainings. He is a psychotherapist and personal coach who uses the Enneagram with individuals, couples and families. Herb is the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Power of the Enneagram. For more information, sign up for his newsletter at his website at www.herbpearce.com, herb@herbpearce.com, 781 648 3737.